First off we we have to look into what is the point of self pleasure.This is very important but please remember that pleasuring yourself is not about how many times you come to an orgasm or even if you orgasm at all. It is about pleasing yourself, making you feel like no one else can.
Self pleasure and Guilt
"I feel guilty masturbating", that is a recurring theme in the emails I get from my readers. The guilt of self pleasure differs within each case. I cannot begin to cover all the eventualities here but this section is an open discussion that I hope will allow women to see that masturbation far from being something to feel guilty about should be something that is embraced and enjoyed.
Self pleasure has been condemned for a long time. Religion cast it as a sin and although we have moved on as people to become more self aware the stigma attached to self pleasure has stuck with some people still unable to truly feel comfortable about gaining pleasure from their own body.
In fact the sense of guilt is very important to in woman; they refrain from self pleasure more than men and admit to it less easily. This can be a result of repressive mind-sets of certain parents can prompt a later sense of guiltiness. The guilt from self-love can also be credited to fantasies that can go back to childhood that are connected to self pleasure. Which then makes a women feel guilty to revive them when they have a well rewarding sexual life.
Self pleasure isn't dirty, dishonorable, or hazardous for the health. Unbelievably though self-pleasure has been considered for a long time to be a bad habit which is due to centuries of mis-education and prejudice that have turned something that should be enjoyable into something guilty. The present day translation maintains the disapproving image alive: to masturbate comes from the association of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (soil, make dirty). Self pleasure doesn't make you wrong, mad or even give you acne. It can be a sign of emotional problems if it becomes compulsive but it really is something to embrace.
Women can feel guilty about resorting to masturbation as if they stole something from their significant other: if to be fulfilled by self pleasure leads you to decline sex with your partner, obviously there is a predicament. But, in a couple, it is not necessary that we do everything together; must all pleasure be strictly shared? Sports, music and shopping do you have to do them all together? When masturbation isn't an escape, but a search for a balance, then you both will be at ease, and can experience a healthy sex life without tension. Where as frustration due to an insufficient sexuality might cause you to resent your partner, and even wish to turn away from sex with him or her.
In fact self pleasure can be practiced in front of a partner. In a lot of couples it proves to be very exciting. It can be the best means to learn how a lover prefers to be stimulated. Each can guide the hand of the partner to show him/her which pressure and which rhythm the woman prefers. Mutual masturbation can really spice up a sex life and open the door to experimentation. One's desire can be increased by seeing the pleasure of the other. One can also self-love before or during sexual intercourse: it serves then as a prelude, increases the excitement, or allows the couple to perfect sexual intercourse.
The use of self-pleasure open up doors to other possibilities it can reduce the over use of vaginal penetration and bring in a new area of enjoyment and variety into the bedroom. It offers many different ways for women to reach orgasm and other types of pleasure. In women it can bring a force of excitement that is not allowed by either the softness of a vagina nor the obligation to hold on for a certain time.
In conclusion there are a many ways women can live out their sexuality. Self pleasure is one: by yourself or in the presence of a partner, frequent or occasional, solitary or mutually shared, it colours the life of one person, is absent in the life of another one, is accessible with out ever being imposed, something that people can take or leave according to their impulse.
I hope that this article has opened up the prospect that masturbation is really something that can have so many positive benefits for women and can really be a gateway to a more rewarding sex life for your partner and yourself. It is practiced by many women and for most it has been something that has only helped them in life. This section only gives a general introduction to self pleasure and guilt and many women may still have questions or still feel unsure. Please read this article again and see that self pleasure can really be such a positive influence.
Article Source: http://physicalfitnessarticles.net
Self pleasure for women is a website set up by Holly Franklin to be a self pleasure resource for women. Holly's new website offers articles on the how to use a dildo for women and couples.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Everyone is not meant to be a size 2
This summer I have been rather impressed by a television program on the Lifetime network - "How to look Good Naked" with Carson Kressley. This program emphasizes the fact that all women can be beautiful, once they are willing to see their own true inner beauty, regardless of what the scale may say. I like this show because it is not another makeover show or a lecture on losing weight. Instead, the program deals with the way we see ourselves and suggests ways to help women become more comfortable in their bodies and increase self-esteem. This change in self-perception is not based on external appearance but by attacking and eliminating long-held (false) beliefs and negative self-talk.
The show also presents some pretty interesting statistics throughout each episode which should shock and concern us all. For example, four out of five women hate their bodies. That's 80% of women hating themselves! If you hate something, how likely are you to put time into taking care of it? Not much! This is crazy making! Another statistic is that the typical high fashion model represents only 2% of American women. And, who are we striving to look like? The saddest part is - if we don't get the results that we are after (wearing a size 2, sunken abs, weighing 105 pounds) we blame and hate ourselves even more! This next stat is really shocking. Teen girls are more afraid of gaining weight than getting cancer. Let's think about this for a minute. More afraid of being overweight than having to deal with a life-threatening disease. This is ridiculous because there are steps that can be taken to lose weight, but battling cancer is a completely different issue.
Everyone is not meant to be a size 2! Did you understand? More important, do you believe it? I am not criticizing anyone who wants to lose weight or is actively working a weight loss plan. But losing weight should be a factor in a plan to improve your overall health, not just to say you wear the same size as some celebrity. For some reason, we are more obsessed with meeting a 'standard' of beauty that is not related to being healthy.
Being healthy should be at the top of everyone's list. However, the way beauty is measured in this country has caused many women to develop many health-related problems, including low self-esteem and various eating disorders. In addition, most women find it very hard to develop lasting friendships with other women because of that green-eyed monster - envy. This obsession is not healthy and does not motivate the average woman to make positive changes to help herself. Instead, it just causes greater stress and decreases the quality of life for all involved. You know what I mean - how pleasant is it to be around someone who has a negative attitude about everything, including herself? There is a wonderful book that I am recommending to others - "Life doesn't begin 5 pounds from now" by Jessica Weiner. It is worth checking out just to see if you are guilty of mistreating yourself because of your weight or appearance. Anyway, if your goal is to lose weight, the odds are you will be more successful if you do it with a positive attitude, out of love and respect for yourself rather than self-hatred and punishment.
I believe that many women who want to lose weight are hampered by their self-perceptions. They doubt that they can lose weight or get healthy and quickly give up. For others, so much emphasis is placed on an unrealistic weight goal or clothing size that the failure ruins any future attempts. I want to encourage us to first focus on the positives. There is so much more to us than our weight or dress size that we completely ignore. I challenge you to treat yourself with love, kindness and respect for who you are. If you can see how valuable you really are, you'll be more likely to take care of yourself.
Article Source: http://physicalfitnessarticles.net
Dr. Jacqui Lewis-Lyons is a Clinical Psychologist and a Life Coach who works with women and children around issues related to health and stress problems. She has over 2o years experience in the mental health field. Dr. Jacqui enjoys helping clients make their lives more positive and satisfying as they reach their goals. She is located in Columbus, Ohio. Her practice is Personal Wholeness Solutions, the website is
The show also presents some pretty interesting statistics throughout each episode which should shock and concern us all. For example, four out of five women hate their bodies. That's 80% of women hating themselves! If you hate something, how likely are you to put time into taking care of it? Not much! This is crazy making! Another statistic is that the typical high fashion model represents only 2% of American women. And, who are we striving to look like? The saddest part is - if we don't get the results that we are after (wearing a size 2, sunken abs, weighing 105 pounds) we blame and hate ourselves even more! This next stat is really shocking. Teen girls are more afraid of gaining weight than getting cancer. Let's think about this for a minute. More afraid of being overweight than having to deal with a life-threatening disease. This is ridiculous because there are steps that can be taken to lose weight, but battling cancer is a completely different issue.
Everyone is not meant to be a size 2! Did you understand? More important, do you believe it? I am not criticizing anyone who wants to lose weight or is actively working a weight loss plan. But losing weight should be a factor in a plan to improve your overall health, not just to say you wear the same size as some celebrity. For some reason, we are more obsessed with meeting a 'standard' of beauty that is not related to being healthy.
Being healthy should be at the top of everyone's list. However, the way beauty is measured in this country has caused many women to develop many health-related problems, including low self-esteem and various eating disorders. In addition, most women find it very hard to develop lasting friendships with other women because of that green-eyed monster - envy. This obsession is not healthy and does not motivate the average woman to make positive changes to help herself. Instead, it just causes greater stress and decreases the quality of life for all involved. You know what I mean - how pleasant is it to be around someone who has a negative attitude about everything, including herself? There is a wonderful book that I am recommending to others - "Life doesn't begin 5 pounds from now" by Jessica Weiner. It is worth checking out just to see if you are guilty of mistreating yourself because of your weight or appearance. Anyway, if your goal is to lose weight, the odds are you will be more successful if you do it with a positive attitude, out of love and respect for yourself rather than self-hatred and punishment.
I believe that many women who want to lose weight are hampered by their self-perceptions. They doubt that they can lose weight or get healthy and quickly give up. For others, so much emphasis is placed on an unrealistic weight goal or clothing size that the failure ruins any future attempts. I want to encourage us to first focus on the positives. There is so much more to us than our weight or dress size that we completely ignore. I challenge you to treat yourself with love, kindness and respect for who you are. If you can see how valuable you really are, you'll be more likely to take care of yourself.
Article Source: http://physicalfitnessarticles.net
Dr. Jacqui Lewis-Lyons is a Clinical Psychologist and a Life Coach who works with women and children around issues related to health and stress problems. She has over 2o years experience in the mental health field. Dr. Jacqui enjoys helping clients make their lives more positive and satisfying as they reach their goals. She is located in Columbus, Ohio. Her practice is Personal Wholeness Solutions, the website is
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